Changes Again

I guess i have to change again... This days just don´t feel right, holiday is when the time you do everything aimlessly... i just feel like everyday i am just doing nothing... Everday i stand and think what i have done this days and the pass, every mistake i made is truely kept deep inside my heart... I heard a sentence once said (Life is just a shirt with buttons, once the 1st button is buttoned wrongly then the rest will wrong also)... Well i certainly feel that what the person said is true.. So i dun hope to have the 1st button wrong. Nowdays, i am gettting more hot temper than i usually have been... I just dunno why i am just very hard to mix around with people, I just usually do something that irritates them, fine fine thats the real me, then suan la... Now i have no one left to listen... Now, no one can make me listen anymore... I am just stuck! really i just cant find out the problem i am facing... Things are really complicated, as you know that you understand but actually you still got a thousand more till you can say u understand completely... I just wish to run away to a place where no one finds me, but i just cant leave... I know that i cant do it anymore, although i know its impossible, its a lie, its just a dream but i still believe in it... I just want to make myself feel better rather than regrets and bad memories all the time... Although its gone but i believe its just around the corner... Well it does bring me some good points, it gives me a boost, just that everytime that i do something i know what i am fighting for or putting an effort into something... Just wish everytime i can do it... But things aren´t easy as that i guess. Something that is easy to obtain itsn´t good... Nowdays, every night, the clock haven´t reach 1 I also dun feel like sleeping... Everyday i go jogging just to relax and throw out the things inside me... No matter what i do i just cant master it... But i don´t really give a dam how people look at me, that statement is FAKE! i do care!!! Cause they are my friends, other than that i wont care but my friends i will... But still, its not enough