18.8.2010 : Thinking

Today i stopped everything, i stop and look all over my class.... I see people doing things differently, is like all are divided into group.... Then i look out of the window, there was a good and a bad view there, but the bad view will nvr be cover by my blind spot.... it teaches me that i must always know how to go through no matter a bad or a good situation... Today i really think and regret alot.... I just regret my words.... I always wonder why people can treat me like this, i know i am a little bit annoying too... Then actually i think again, actually i cant blame them... because i am not that good anyway... Maybe is the fact that i must really learn how to accept people's personality, their view or maybe many more... So now onwards, i wont take an action so fast without thinking through a layered of tissues in my brain. Well i really fear that everything i have now will change.... I really dun dare to imagine when what i have now will change to nothing... Comparing myself with other people sometimes do hurt, people are all born equal in their abilities, only everyones abilities are different... So we cant always think that we are always on the top of the world, if once we fall, we will never learn to accept it.... Actually i think that memories are very important to me, it relates me to what i have been through this 14 years i am on earth... Sometimes i do admire someones success till i hate to see it... But i must be back myself who is always a winner that will never lose to myself... GAMBATEH!!

14:8:2010 : Sunset

Wah today i finally saw a sunset that wakes me up everytime.... but this time de is still not the best one... i remember the best one is in the beach that colours the sea in orange... Well, whats next??! this time de makes me think of many things and recorrect my mistake... Well i guess i must let go of everything when the time needs me to do so... Yesterday my tears fall when i tried to go to sleep... is like everything unhappy suddenly turns up in my mind... Well when it is time to let go i must let go le, i must grow up.... No matter how much i liked it or how much i wanted, but i must let go.... I really give everything i have into it but it always cuts me deep.... haha now my heart is the boss inside me... It decides whatever comes toward me... I looked back and i found out i have many things to sorry for...

13:8:2010 : Lesson

I really learn many lessons in this 14 year d.... Sometimes i sit down and i think and i remember what i usually say and what i usually do.... Its quite good to be a kid when you dun need to care anything... Well i must now learn that everyone is different and i must learn to accept what people do or how the way they act.... I cant emo because of a people's action that effect me.... Well usually teachers say we must mix in another community and not stay at the one... But for me, i rather stay because that is the only place that my words makes sense and someone will know that i am there talking. Well, no matter how much we hate or how much we dislike to do things we dun like, but we must always do our best or even fight through the times we hate the most.... Well, i am trying to do this without caring how much i hate... Is time for me to grow up and leave everything bad behind... But this word ' emo ' is really making me crazy.... Actually sometimes i really emo because i am always affected to everything i am going through with. Not that everyday i wan to emo but there is really a reason to make me do so.... Well i am glad of what i have now....

10.8.2010 : I hate it

Sometimes i do hate my friends.... I do get alot of advices, but sometimes i just hate to hear it... Maybe is my bad temper makes me hate to listen to other peoples words... Well i get used to be hated and disliked, but i dun seem to care huh?! Yes i dun care anything anymore... Well i am the next thing to be scolded everyday huh?! Just that i hate it.... When i am useful, you all treat me like a king... but when i am not, even a cat is better dont you think so? I just hate to explain sometimes... thank you for ur concern but i dun need it anymore.... Since i am what you think, then better you just dunno me. I just freaking hate to hear your stupid words

8.8.2010 : Roller-coaster week

This week is really a week i will never forget.... This week is also known as error week... i did everything the wrong way... But actually it is not bad that i can have time to correct it... But i hate the most thing is i get disgrace.... I got scolded, fought, and people using a bad eye sight looking at me... I dun wan to be disgrace because it really cuts me deep... I still cant forget what happen on friday... But i dun blame them because it is my fault... Usually when i get scolded by my friend i will fight back but this time i didn't because i really did something very stupid and wrong... Nowdays, I feel like just sitting there quietly is the best.... I tasted sour, sweet, sad, happy, tears, stress and many more.... But it is okay because i am ready for my roller-coaster ride.... When i get happy things, sure the sad things will be here... But i dun blame it, because life has up and down.... it is only the way that u fight through it that matters... I feel like i am keep on updating the same thing.... But i just dun mind it because challenges never stop repeating.... ADD OIL!!!

7.8.2010 : Nice date.... but bad time

Today was this week 1st time i never emo.... Haha not bad xD!! Today i started thinking back what people said to me.... I remember my friend always told me that ' how can you be so mature on the internet and turned up childish in the real life ' i answered : because i dun wan to be too mature and forgetting myself... Now only i remember to ignore everyone's words and do what i feel like it... I just think the proses to get to who i am today.... I learn everything from peoples beside me.... I started observing a long time ago... I dun wan to be too lapan d..... I guess I will just open one eye and close the other one.... Today's weather was nice and cooling.... I was surprised when i came down from tuition.... It is nice to feel that cooling feel.... It reminds me of what i have been through all this years.... It like everything i felt for all this while no matter it is pain, sad, bitter, sour and many more to list.... Then i remember all my mistake and everything i did right.... But i really like what i have now... I am glad to be who i am and staying in the same position now... But i know if i stay here i wont grow up.... so no matter what comes ahead of me i will keep on going and fighting through the problems and to correct my mistake... I wonder where is everyone.... It looks like the city is reducing its population.... Haha I wish to get everything right again....

6.8.2010 : Unlucky day

Today was a really bad day! I really hate the starting of the day..... went to prefect room because i smiled..... But after school it was ok because i still got my favourite clu time..... But then i accidentally became too playful and broke theen meng de sijil..... sad.... Then now me and my friend... we look like seperating a part. But sometimes i do admit i really hate him... But i knew his this attitude long time adi so i dun feel anything different.... It has been weeks that i emo everyday because everything i do doesn't feel the same and right anymore.... It feels like i started to forget who i am... I just dunno what to do that makes everything right and everyone happy.... What i am, what i do, what i said will always make me sad.... But there is one happy part where now i find out that there are more people that really cares about me.... i am really glad to have them in my life.... But sometimes everything in life is always half half.... when got happy sure got sad de... Exam is near le but i got no mood to study.... it is a bad sign...

1.8.2010 : No mood le

I guess everytime i updated sure is when i emo de... At 1st i started wondering whether i really like it or just finding someone for a pass-time.... But now i know what i wanted d.... Everthing in life is so unpredictable, it is such a mystery and full or deadly challenges. I guess exam is near le.... I wont be updating till next 2 weeks!! But i really miss you