6:9:2010 : Nothing but i am sad

Well, i fail in planing... i wanted to watch movie but suddenly everything must cancel.... i hate it. I really feel sad about it... well i try to share it with people but all i get is take care.... wont i just get a better answer.... All i wished for this holiday has gone and i am hopeless to watch those movies... Actually watch or not that doesnt matter but just i wan to go out of home to find some other activities... But i guess i will just stay where i am for now before i expect to go out, the more i expect the more chances i will be disappointed again... All the while i have never think of the bad sight but now it turns into reality... Man i hate it really... This holiday is just school + home i guess= emo. Sometimes i dream to be a hero, but now i dun wan anything anymore, i am just tired and scared to move another step into a hot volcano... What does it mean by not ready? i really wanted to ask but i guess i will just keep my mouth shut.... Sometimes i dun make a sound is not that i am emo or sad but i am just scared once i talk u all will keep quiet. I scared what i say will make people feel annoying so i dun dare to make a single sound. People ask me why are you always emo, but i just dun dare to answer... I will say usually i dunno or make a stupid logical answer. But i guess no one will understand why i emo anyway because i dun wan to tell.... I just hope to have someone that i can share everything and receive the words i feel comfort to hear, but i guess fate haven arrive... so i must wait in order for the person to show up... maybe good things always kept me waiting for it... but i dun wan to get disappointed again hopefully. I do admire sometimes why people can do it but i cant? I guess is i am lazy gua... People always say wah!! u very geng, but then i say everyone is equal, maybe you are weak in this thing but u are better in the other one gua.... I do believe that not giving up is a good way to keep me from failure, but sometimes i do choose to give up because it is not just about my success but it effects on others so i dun dare to make decisions without thinking every step carefully... After all this while, i learn alot, i see what i never see before, i fight what i dun dare to last time... But i am getting weaker and weaker, last time i dun usually fall sick but now i face alot problems, i guess it is a test to determine how much pain i can accept but i really scared i will fall... But i will try my 110% best to not make myself fall!!!